


Holding Hands Through the Dark

by TheDuchessUnseen



Category: Gideon the Ninth - Tamsyn Muir
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Foster Siblings, Heavy Angst, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sex Work in a Positive Way SWERFS Fuck Off, this is seriously the hardest thing I've ever written
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:41:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22380475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDuchessUnseen/pseuds/TheDuchessUnseen
Summary: Gideon Nav and Jeannemary Chatur just want their little brother Isaac to have the best life possible, a easier, softer life than they did.  They've been living on their own for the last five years, together they've been through hell and won't let anything tear them apart. (sorry for the shit summary)
Relationships: Gideon Nav/Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Jeannemary Chatur/ Original Female Character
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	1. Present Day: First Day, High School

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic for the AMAZING Gideon the Ninth fandom, you guys are incredible and I love every single one of you.  
> This is a very dark fic, dealing with a lot of very hard things that may and will be very triggering for some people (myself included).  
> Please be careful my fellow abuse survivors if you do decide to read this, just remember be careful; and that on those days when you feel like the weight of the world and your trauma is crushing you, that you have me, you're not alone, I care about you, I believe you, and I love you.  
> EDIT: Ages  
> Gideon: 21 years old  
> JM: 19 years old  
> Isaac: 14 Years old

Present day

JM grumbled as her alarm buzzed, reaching over she turned it off, grumbling again as she pushed herself off her bed, careful not to wake her brother in the bed beside her. Studying for her midterms kept her up late the night before and she still had her shift at the coffee house this morning. Then she remembered, Isaac was starting high school today. She quickly showered and grabbed her food, smiling softly at the post-it note labeled Tupperware Isaac had prepared the night before. There were three total, one for each of them and one for Gideon who was still asleep on the couch. Writing a quick note wishing him luck and putting it on his lunch, she set off for work.

They had been together like this for five years now, living in a one-bedroom apartment, juggling jobs and schedules. JM would drive their crappy car to her job at a coffee house in the mornings and then she’d go home and do her homework before picking Isaac up from school and leaving for her second job at a grocery store before coming home for dinner and attending night classes at the local community college, weekends she worked as a server at a McDonald’s.

Gideon would wake up and take Isaac to school on her motorcycle before going to her first job at a construction site in the mornings and go back to the apartment to sleep then head to her second job as meal prep for a local casino. She’d come back home for dinner with her family before leaving shortly before eleven to her third job, dancing at a local lesbian bar.

It was hard, painfully hard, the girls worked paycheck to paycheck, and saved every penny, but they were determined to give Isaac a better childhood than they had. He never had to worry about food on the table, he went to school like a normal kid, did his homework, made dinner and ate with his family, a family that loved him. 

They had most weekends free to spend together. They had even been talking to Isaac about any clubs or sports he wanted to do in high school, whatever it was they would make sure it was done. Anything for their little brother.

#####

Isaac woke up to the sound of a running shower and he bound out of bed, today was his first day of high school. He was nervous but also excited, he had some classes with friends and he had also tested into some of the advanced classes. He went into the kitchen,turned on the coffee pot and poured himself a bowl of cereal. By the time he was done Gideon came out of the shower, toweling off her shockingly red hair.

“Morning Giddy!” he called cheerfully.

Gideon smiled and ruffled his messy hair as she got her coffee and went to pour her own bowl of cereal, “You excited dude?” she asked.

“Yep!” Isaac smiled, “I have math, biology, PE, and Spanish today.”

Gideon nodded, “Well you better get your shower so your badass sister can drop you off on her badass bike.”

Isaac rolled his eyes, “Nerd.” he said, putting his bowl in the sink.

“Dork.” Gideon teased back. As soon as he was in the bathroom Gideon let her head slump into her hands, she was so tired, her manager at the casino asked her to come in early, that meant more money but it also meant she didn’t get her midday nap, without that she only managed about two-and-a-half hours of sleep after she got home from Cytherea’s. 

“I’m ready!” Isaac called from his and JM’s room. Gideon slurped down the rest of her cereal and grabbed their lunches, smiling at the note JM had on Isaac’s lunch. She stuffed it into his lunch pail and tossed it to him as he came into the kitchen before grabbing her own. 

“You got everything?”

“Got it all!” Isaac said proudly, “I double-checked last night.”

Gideon grinned, “All right let’s go dude.” They pulled on their leather jackets and Gideon tossed Isaac his helmet.

Isaac was nearly jumping up and down with excitement as they pulled up to the school, smiling at all the kids whose jaws dropped at the pair coming in on a motorcycle amidst a crowd of sedans and minivans. They got off and Isaac tossed his helmet to Gideon who stored it under the seat.

Gideon pulled off her own helmet and hugged her brother tightly.

“Giddy!” He half-complained half-laughed.

“I’m proud of you.” she told him.

Isaac smiled, “Thanks Giddy.”

Gideon tried to cover up a sniffle, grateful her aviators were covering her tear-filled eyes.

“Now get to class nerd.” she said with a laugh.

Isaac laughed as he walked towards his friends, “Be safe at work dork!” he yelled. Gideon put her helmet back on and with a wave to Isaac and the shocked students and drove off.

As she began working, laying tile in an apartment complex, she sighed contentedly; their life may be hard, but they were together. Against all odds they had made it, they had survived.


	2. A New Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gideon Nav is five years old when she is taken in by another foster family. Gideon believes that this one will be like all the other families that didn't want her, but, a part of her hopes that this time she might find a real home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another fluffy chapter at the urging of Maybem, for who this chapter is dedicated to.  
> This chapter takes place sixteen years ago from last chapter.  
> Ages  
> Gideon: Five years old  
> JM: Three years old

Chapter Two

Sixteen years ago

“I think you’ll really like this home Gideon.” the social worker said from the drivers seat. 

Gideon Nav crossed her arms, Ms. Hannah said that about every family, why should this one be any different? Gideon was only five years old and had already been in six foster homes, most of them didn’t have enough money to feed her with all the other kids they fostered so, being the youngest and smallest, she fought for a bite to eat or hid granola bars and cracker packets throughout the house. When the other kids told, she was sent back to the group home. No one wanted a kid who picked fights or stole food; at least that’s what the nuns told her. Gideon didn’t like the nuns, they were old and they smelled funny. They didn’t hold her when she had nightmares or hug her like she saw parents hug their children when they picked them up from school.

Gideon gazed longingly out the window, she wished she knew her parents. The nuns told her that she was brought to a hospital by a woman who collapsed on the E.R. floor, she had been shot in the back. The doctors brought her back long enough for her to scream, _‘Gideon, Gideon, Gideon!_ ’ before she died. Gideon didn’t even know if that was her mom or not. The doctor assumed her name was Gideon, and thus Gideon Nav was legally named and put in the care of the Sisters.

###

“Hello Gideon!” the mother and father said cheerfully.

Gideon walked into the house carefully, the house was a lot nicer than the other homes she had been in, and it smelled really good too.

“I’m Henriette, and this is Samuel.” Gideon looked at her new fosters, the woman was pretty and had long black hair that was braided all the way up her head, Gideon felt like she could trust her, she had nice eyes. The man was very tall and had a bald head and made a face that made Gideon giggle.

“And this is our daughter Jeannemary.”

Gideon frowned, most people with kids of their own didn’t want a foster kid. She hoped that they still wanted her and this wasn’t just for a few days. Miss Hannah was right, she did like the Chatur’s. 

Then she noticed the daughter, a little girl, a few years younger than Gideon peered out anxiously from between her parents legs.

“JM say hello.” her father urged.

The girl, JM, nervously walked forward. Her hair was curly and fluffy and she had nice eyes like her mom.

“Hi, I’m Gideon.” Gideon said, desperately hoping the girl would like her.

“I’m JM.” the girl replied, “I’m happy you’re here, Gidyon?” the girl looked nervously up at her parents, then back to Gideon. 

“It’s okay, my name’s hard, how ‘bout you call me Giddy?”

JM smiled widely, “Okay Giddy, do you like to play?”

Gideon nodded excitedly, this house was looking better and better.

JM looked up at her parents, “Can we go play?”

The parents nodded, “Just stay inside unless you ask us first okay? We need to finish things up with Miss Hannah.” Samuel said, JM nodded happily and grabbed Gideon’s hand. “Let’s go!” she yelled, pulling the older girl along. 

###

“Girls dinner!” Samuel called out. The two girls ran back to the kitchen excitedly.

“Gideon, I hope you like gumbo!” Henriette called from the stove, Gideon had never had gumbo before but she was determined to try it. 

It looked a little weird, but it smelled really good and when she had her first bit found that it tasted even better. She ate quickly, sad when it was all gone. 

“Do you want more Gideon?” Samuel asked.

Gideon’s eyes widened, she had never been offered more food before. “I- I can have more?” she squeaked. “I, none of the other homes let me have more.”

The parents looked at each other before Samuel gently held Gideon’s hand. 

“Gideon, here you can have as much food as you want, and if we give you too much and you don’t want to finish that’s okay too.”

Gideon smiled, “Okay, I’d like some more please.”

###

That night, Gideon was amazed when Henriette came into her room (the fact that Gideon had her own room was also amazing), and not only tucked her in, but also offered to read her a story!

After Henriette gently kissed her forehead and said good night Gideon sighed contentedly into her pillow, maybe this time she’d found a real home.

###

Gideon had been at the Chatur’s house for five months now and she was happier than she had ever been. The family spoke French Creole and they were teaching Gideon! She really liked school and she was learning really fast, her favorite subjects were P.E. and reading.

She was waiting patiently for Henriette to come in and read her her bedtime story. Henriette came and tucked her in and then read ‘Are You My Mother’ it was one of Gideon’s very favorite books, soon the story was over and Henriette kissed Gideon goodnight.

“Henriette?” Gideon asked shyly.

“Yes sweet pea?”

Gideon smiled, she loved that name.

“Are you my mommy now?”

Henriette bit her lip, unable to stop the tears in her eyes. “Oh sweetheart, do you, do you want me to be?” 

Gideon nodded nervously. “And I want Samuel to be my daddy.”

“Then yes we are.”

Gideon broke out into the widest smile. “Really?”

Henriette nodded, “Yes sweet pea, really. Now it’s late and you need to get some sleep.”

Gideon smiled, “Okay Henri- I mean Mommy.”

Henriette blinked away happy tears, “Good night sweet pea.” she said, kissing her oldest daughter goodnight once more, “Sweet dreams.”

She went into the master bath where Samuel was brushing his teeth.

“Everything okay?” he asked seeing the tears in his wife’s eyes.

She nodded. “Gideon asked if we were her mommy and daddy now.”

Samuel turned to her, “Really?” he asked, voice full of hope.

Henriette shook her head, “I think I’ll call Hannah in the morning.”

Samuel smiled as he hugged his wife close, “Our family is growing again.”

###

It had been almost a year since Gideon had come to the Chatur’s when Henriette and Samuel called the girls into the living room.

“Girls, we have very important news.” Henriette said, smiling widely.

The girls looked at each other excitedly, last time they got important news they went to Disney Land.

“Now, Gideon, you know we love you very much right?” Samuel asked. Gideon nodded, she had never been more sure of anything. 

“Well, we wanted to make it official, we talked to Miss Hannah and got all the papers signed and they finally went through.”

Gideon could scarcely believe her ears, was this really happening?

“Gideon, you are now officially our daughter, we just got the adoption papers back today.”

Gideon began to cry, “Really?” she asked, “You really want me?”

The parents pulled Gideon into a tight hug, “More than anything sweet pea.” Samuel said, “You’re our family.”

JM was very happy, but she was also a little confused, “But Giddy’s been our family since she got here.” she said.

Henriette laughed and pulled her youngest daughter into a hug. “Yes she has baby, but now it’s official, according to government you two are legally sisters.”

JM’s eyes widened, “Were we breaking the law before?” she whispered.

“Oh no baby.” Samuel assured her, “We just got some very important grown-up papers signed that let people know that you two are sisters.

JM nodded, she didn’t know why there needed to be a paper for that but if it meant that Giddy was her sister then she didn’t care.

Gideon who was still crying into Samuel’s shirt lifted her head and tried to reach her tiny arms around her family.

“I love you all so much.” she said.

“We love you too sweet pea.” Henriette said, “So very much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this AFTER the upcoming chapters which are the darkest, most difficult things I've ever had to write so writing all that and coming back to this was hard.  
> I may split next chapter into two parts because it is very heavy and may be too much for one sitting.  
> As always, thank you for reading, and thank you to the GtN discord.


	3. Real Monsters: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a terrible accident JM and Gideon end up in a new foster home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ!!!! GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF VIOLENCE IN THIS CHAPTER!!!!!  
> There is going to be graphic descriptions of physical abuse in this chapter, if you want to skip over it   
> it begins and ends when you see this: ***  
> Writing this was very triggering for me so please stay safe while reading.  
> Italics is dialogue in French Creole  
> Ages  
> Gideon: Seven years old  
> JM: Five years old

Fourteen years ago

Gideon Nav quickly maneuvered through the throng of adults busy with their Christmas shopping, one hand gripping her sisters’ hand tightly. 

“Come on JM.” she whispered, “We’re almost out of here.”

Beside her, her sister nodded quickly, too scared to speak.

The doors were in sight, once they got out they could run away, back to the group home, back anywhere but there.

A strong hand grabbed Gideon’s arm and she squealed as it turned her around roughly.

“There you are girls we were so worried!” Gideon and JM whined in horror at the sight of the adults behind them.

“Did you get lost?” Amy asked, her face etched with fake concern, brushing her fingers across JM’s cheek in what any bystander would think was a motherly gesture. 

“Let’s get home girls.” Josh said, as he picked up Gideon, his grip on her arm tightening. Despite herself, Gideon began to cry. “Oh, baby don’t cry, we found you safe and sound.” he said as they made their way out to the car. Gideon’s sniffling grew louder, as if the girls would ever feel ‘safe and sound’ with Josh and Amy.

Amy buckled the girls into their seats roughly while Josh started the car. Once she got in, she turned around and grabbed each girls arm, pinching them harshly.

“Don’t think you won’t hear about this when we get home you ungrateful brats.” she hissed.

JM immediately started to cry, seeking the comfort of Gideon’s hand, the older girl held her sisters’ hand tightly, they would never be safe, not until they were free of these people. She took a breath to steel her resolve, she had to be brave, she had to be strong for her little sister.

JM tried to be brave, but she was so scared, they were almost free, they almost got away. She hated to cry because she knew it just made Josh and Amy angrier, but she couldn’t help it, she missed her mommy and daddy, everything was perfect, she was so happy. Then mommy and daddy got in a car accident and JM’s life was full of adults she didn’t know and things she didn’t understand and so many tears and nightmares but always, always she had Giddy beside her. They tried to split them up but neither of them would let that happen. Miss Hannah told the nuns at the group home that the sisters needed to be together. JM didn’t understand the big words Miss Hannah said but she knew it meant that her and Giddy wouldn’t be split up, and that was all that mattered to her. 

JM was very smart; she knew that some people weren’t nice she saw it on the news when her and Giddy sneaked downstairs at night after their parents told them to go to bed. Sometimes it scared her but Giddy always held her and said that she would be her knight and protect her from the monsters and bad people. She looked up at her sister, chin up, trying not to cry and she squeezed her hand tighter, Giddy needed someone to protect her too.

***

It started as soon as they got to the house, Josh slapped Gideon hard across the face and she fell to the ground hard, her ears ringing. JM screamed only to be silenced by Amy who grabbed her by the throat, holding her high.

“Shut up brat!” she screamed, before she dropped her, letting her crumple to the floor; JM quickly scampered to the corner, trying to get as far away from the adults as possible.

Gideon dragged herself over to JM who pulled her older sisters head into her lap. The two cried as Josh and Amy yelled at them, calling them ungrateful for daring to try to run away after they took them in and clothed and fed them. The girls tuned it out, clutching onto each other like a lifeline.

They were sent to bed without supper and locked in their sparse room. 

***

_“I miss mommy and daddy Giddy._ ” JM whispered, her voice hoarse. 

Gideon hugged her sister tighter, _“I miss them too JM.”_ she said, kissing her forehead, _“But we have each other and we’ll be okay.”_

JM looked up and smiled weakly, _“We have each other.”_

The pair fell into a fitful asleep in the corner of the room and dreamed of a world without monsters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was hell to write and there's still more to go.  
> Once again, thanks to the GtN server and I hope you all stay safe.  
> I may post part two soon since this is so short.


	4. Real Monsters: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gideon and JM still live with Josh and Amy, trying their hardest to survive their abuse. Things were getting better, but when you're living in an abusive home, anything can set your abuser off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ!!!! GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF VIOLENCE IN THIS CHAPTER!!!!!  
> There is going to be graphic descriptions of physical abuse in this chapter, if you want to skip over it  
> it begins and ends when you see this: ***  
> This is the most painful thing I've ever had to write.  
> Again, italics are French Creole.  
> AGES  
> Gideon: 8 years old  
> JM: 6 years old

Thirteen years ago

It had been a good day, it was Saturday, and Gideon and JM were playing inside the house. They had been with Josh and Amy for a little over a year and their beatings were getting worse, but there were some days where they got to run around and play like normal children.

“I will protect you my lady!” Gideon yelled proudly, plastic knights helm atop her head and a foam sword in the other. 

“Look out Sir Nav, another one!” JM shouted in her princess costume as she pointed at an imaginary dragon.

Gideon lunged forward, dealing the dragon a mortal blow.

JM clapped as the dragon fell, “I have defended you from the monstrous dragons Princess Chatur.” Gideon said with a deep bow.

As she bowed, her shoulder jostled a nearby table and before Gideon could make a move to steady it, a lamp fell off, shattering on the floor.

JM and Gideon looked at each other in horror.

“What have you done now!” Josh yelled from the other room. The children immediately knelt down and tried to pick up the pieces as stomping feet echoed down the hall.

Gideon looked up at Josh, inches away from her and infinitely taller, his shadow eclipsing her tiny form.

“We,” she swallowed in fear, “We were just playing, I promise it was an accident.”

***

Josh scoffed and bent down to grab her by the back of her head, shoving her face into the glass.

“So, because you were playing that makes it okay to break other peoples’ things?” When Gideon didn’t respond he yanked her up by her arm.

“It was an accident, I’m sorry.” Gideon cried.

“Sorry doesn’t fix the lamp does it? Does it?” Gideon shook her head. “You need to be taught a lesson for what happens when you break other peoples’ things.” Josh growled and then punched Gideon in the stomach. 

All the breath left Gideon’s lungs in a second as she fell to the floor, gasping for air. She barely managed to take a breath when Josh screamed again, she couldn’t understand him, couldn’t answer him for the burning in her lungs; she could do nothing to escape as he began to kick her. She gave up trying to get away and focused on trying to take ragged gasps for air.

The whole time JM had been standing still in a mix of shock and horror. She screamed and began to cry when Josh forced her sisters face into the glass, but when he punched and kicked her, and she saw her sister curled on the floor, helmet still on her head, she ran.

She wasn’t thinking, she just had one thought running through her mind: _Protect her_.

Snatching up Gideon’s foam sword she ran up and began hitting Josh with all her might, “Leave Giddy alone!” she screamed, standing in front of her sister, sword raised, the only thing protecting her from the man who was supposed to be their new father.

Josh laughed at JM before snatching the sword away, “Get the fuck out of my way.” he growled. JM ignored Gideon feebly trying to pull her away and stood as tall as she could.

“No!” she yelled, “You hurt Giddy, I hate you!”

Josh grabbed JM’s wrist and wrenched it until JM heard a snap and she fell to her knees, pain flooding her senses. She didn’t know it was possible to be in so much pain. The fire faded from Josh’s eyes and he went into the kitchen. Gideon pushed herself up and crawled to JM who was hugging her broken wrist to her chest. Gideon pulled her sister into a hug, both girls sobbing loudly.

“Clean this up.” Josh’s voice startled them as he dropped a broom and dustpan next to them. the noise causing them to jump. “When it’s done put them back and go to your room before you break anything else.”

The girls softly replied ‘yes’ and JM held the dustpan with her good hand while Gideon swept the shards into it. They quickly dumped the trash and put the broom and dustpan away as neatly as they could. When they were done, they all but ran to their room, shutting the door behind them. 

***

Once safe in their room, they hugged each other for a long time, each ignoring their own wounds.

“Are, are you okay?” Gideon asked her sister when the broke their embrace.

JM shook her head, tears still streaming down her face.

“My arm really hurts Giddy.” she finally managed to say, holding it out, bent at an unnatural angle. 

Gideon began to cry harder at the sight of JM’s arm. “We- we need to set it.” Gideon managed to say, she had seen this on TV before, she knew what to do; and it was for JM, she’d figure it out anyway. She rummaged through her backpack until she found her ruler. Snapping off the piece that was too long, she gave it to her sister. “We need to use this to keep the bone straight and then tie it.”

JM nodded, eyes wide, putting all her trust in Gideon. “What are we going to tie it with?” she squeaked.

Gideon looked around for something she could use, then she remembered Josh and Amy kept bandages under the bathroom sink.

“There are bandages under the sink, I can go get them.”

JM immediately shook her head, “No Giddy, what if he catches you?”

Gideon shook her head, “It won’t happen, it’ll be like sneaking into the dragons lair, remember?” JM nodded, eyes still wide with fear.

“Be careful Giddy.” she said softly.

Gideon nodded and kissed her sisters forehead, “I will be JM.” she whispered.

Soft and silent as a mouse Gideon opened the bedroom door, willing it not to squeak. When she had it open wide enough to squeeze through, she gave JM what she hoped was a reassuring smile and snuck out the door, closing it softly behind her. 

Now that she was alone in the hallway, she swallowed nervously. Even though she walked through these hallways every day, now, in the dark and with JM hurt on their bed, she was terrified. ‘No.’ a voice in her head told her, ‘JM needs you.’ With that to spur her on, she wiped her sweaty hands on her shirt and crept to the bathroom. She found the bandages quickly and clambered on the vanity and began to search the medicine cabinet for pain relievers. After finding them and making sure she read the dosage right, she dumped some in her hand, wrapped them in toilet paper and hurried back to the room, eager to get back to JM.

JM had been rocking on the floor the entire time Gideon had been gone, dreading the sound of a scream and slap. Finally, she heard three timid knocks on the door and she rushed to open it. Gideon ducked in and quickly knelt on the floor, motioning JM to do the same. JM complied and hissed in pain as Gideon set the ruler on one side of her wrist and began wrapping the bandages around it.

JM struggled not to cry out, trying to be brave like her sister. When Gideon was done, she grabbed one of JM’s scarfs and tied it into a makeshift sling and then gave her medicine which she swallowed with a glass of water on her nightstand. When she was done JM gently cupped her cheek, “Did you get something for your cuts?” she asked. Gideon looked up sharply, she hadn’t realized she had been cut. Now that JM had pointed it out it was all she could think about.

“Ow.” she whined as she prodded a cut on her cheek bone.

JM’s eyes narrowed in determination, “Stay right here.” she said, and before Gideon could stop her, she was gone. 

JM hardly dared to breathe as she made her way to the bathroom, when she finally got there, she grabbed some cotton balls, some band-aids, and a bottle of witch hazel. Most children her age wouldn’t know to grab all these things, but JM did. After all, it wasn’t the first time the girls had had to patch each other up, just the worst.

Gideon sat in their bedroom crying, flinching at every noise, hoping that JM would make it back safe. When she heard the three knocks on the door she ran to it and resisted the urge to pull JM inside and into a crushing hug. JM quickly shut the door behind her and the girls sat on the floor again.

JM got the cotton balls and witch hazel ready with her good hand and, gently as she could, cleaned Gideon’s face. Gideon flinched and hissed at the sting, ‘sorry’ JM whispered. Once JM was finished the girls sat in silence, exhausted from the terror of what had just happened; they sat on the floor, until sleep took them.

They were awoken not an hour later by Amy as she burst into the room.

“You idiots!” she hissed, “What have you done, now I have to take you to the ER, and you better not say anything about what happened understand?”

She was shaking JM so violently that she could only nod.

“You tell them you fell out of a tree okay? That’s the story!”

JM nodded again, “O-Okay Amy.”

With a huff Amy looked down at Gideon’s makeshift splint and sling.

“You did this?” she asked accusingly.

Gideon shrank into the carpet, “Yes ma’am.”

Amy sneered, “Well, looks like you’re not completely useless after all. Now you’re going to stay here while I take her to the ER. You misbehave one bit or if either of you tell anyone what happened, I’ll make what happened tonight look pleasant, got it?”

Both girls nodded vigorously. “Can- can Giddy come with me?” JM asked in fear.

“No Giddy can’t come with you.” she mocked. “I don’t wanna deal with two crying brats.”

***

Gideon straightened up, “But Amy-” the sound of skin against skin echoed in the room as Amy backhanded Gideon. “I said no, alright?”

***

Gideon lowered her head, “Yes ma’am.”

“Let’s go.” Amy told JM gruffly.

JM hugged her sister, _“I love you Giddy.”_

_“I love you too JM.”_

The door slammed and Gideon crawled under the bed as her tiny body heaved in sobs. Why did she have to knock over that stupid lamp? Why did she have to be such a klutz? It was all her fault, all her fault. If she had just been more careful JM wouldn’t have gotten hurt, if she had protected her better, she never would have stepped in front of her. She laid there, crying, as she felt like she was falling into a hole she could never climb out of.

###

At the ER, Amy ran in, crying, “Someone help my baby please!”

Doctors and nurses rushed over, taking a shaking JM from Amy. Just like she said she would, she told the doctors JM had fallen out of a tree.

“It was awful!” she wailed as a nurse rubbed her shoulder consolingly.

JM wanted to laugh, laugh or cry she wasn’t sure which. Couldn’t these people tell what was going on?

“It’s okay dear-” the doctor said. “We’ll get your arm set and your mommy will take you home.” 

JM almost screamed at the doctor for that, Amy was not, would never be her mommy, she wouldn’t even be a mother. She was a monster that they couldn’t get away from. Her real mommy was dead, dead and buried and she would never see her again. 

JM slumped forward, she was so tired, too tired to cry, to tired to do anything but lie there and let the doctors finish setting her broken arm.

###

The door to the bedroom slammed open and Amy roughly shoved JM inside.

“And no supper tonight!” she yelled as the lock clicked behind her.

“Giddy?” JM cried, her voice cracking in fear, _“Giddy where are you?”_

Gideon quickly scampered out from under the bed and wrapped JM in her arms; her eyes were puffy and red from crying.

“I’m so sorry JM!” she croaked.

JM looked at her confused, “Why are you sorry?”

Gideon hung her head dejectedly, “Because I broke that lamp, I was clumsy and- and you got hurt cause of me, cause I didn’t protect you good enough.”

JM hugged Gideon tightly, “No.” she said strongly, “This is not your fault, this is their fault. We broke things on accident all the time with Mommy and Daddy and they didn’t hurt us. It’s their fault, their fault only.”

Gideon nodded slowly, wiping her nose with her sleeve. “But I’m supposed to be your knight.” she whispered. “I’m supposed to keep you safe from the monsters.”

JM looked her sister in the eye, “Well maybe I need to become a Princess Knight, so I can help you Giddy.” 

Gideon nodded, “Okay.” gingerly, she reached out for JM’s cast. _“Did it hurt?”_

JM nodded then scoffed. _“Amy pretended to cry, she acted like she was upset and called me ‘her baby’.”_

Gideon grumbled, rage bubbling underneath her skin.

_“Then the doctor called her my mommy.”_

Gideon’s rage subsided as she helped JM up and led her to their corner, as far away from the door as they could get. She didn’t say anything to JM about that, she knew how that had to feel. 

JM nearly collapsed with exhaustion, “How’s your tummy?” she asked, rubbing it gently lifting up Gideon’s shirt. She gasped when she saw the purple and yellow bruises along her torso. 

“It hurts JM, _when I breathe it hurts.”_ she whined. JM put her good arm around Gideon’s shoulders; the sisters stayed that way for a long time. both too drained to do anything else.

“Giddy?” JM asked, breaking the silence.

“Yeah?”

_“Do you remember The Neverending Story?”_

_“Yes.”_ Gideon said, they watched it a friend’s house and they were so scared that Mommy and Daddy let them sleep in their bed.

“I feel like we’re in the Swamps of Sadness.” JM sighed brokenly. “I feel like we’re stuck in the mud and we’re sinking and we’re never going to get out.”

She laid her head down in her sisters’ lap, “I’m too tired to cry Giddy.”

Gideon felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest. JM was so good and kind and she was just a little girl. She didn’t deserve to feel this way, no one did.

“We may be in the Swamps now, but we can get out okay?” Gideon pleaded, trying so hard to hold everything together, _“Remember you get through the Swamps by remembering happy things, so just hold onto those okay?”_

JM nodded, _“Will you do that too?”_ she asked.

Gideon nodded as she softly threaded her fingers through JM’s hair. _“Yes, I will.”_

They ate a dinner of Cheez-It packets and split an apple from the food stash they kept in the closet and then brushed their teeth with their hidden toothbrushes, spitting in a cup from their nightstand. 

Then Gideon pulled the sheets of their beds and nestled them in the corner. JM brought the pillows and Caitlin the alligator, Caitlin was her very best friend besides Giddy and was one of the few things she had left from her parents. Working quietly, they made their safe place. The girls hardly slept in the beds anymore, the little nest they made in the corner was the only place they felt safe.

The sisters cuddled into each other’s arms, Caitlin between them, and tried to dream of happier times. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had most of this written then had to go back and write Chapter 2, so going back to write all that fluff was more painful than I expected.
> 
> I PROMISE Next chapter will be fluffy, it's about Isaac's Open House and the introduction of some new characters!!!


	5. Of Open Houses and Garlic Bread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's open house night and Gideon is nervous that they'll be found out, they've flown under the radar for so long, and tonight is a risk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy chapter time!!!  
> Ya'll have earned it.

Present day

It was three weeks into the school year and the night of Isaac’s open house. It was Gideon’s day off at her casino job and she had spent the whole day stressing. She had to go under the guise of a dedicated daughter attending for their loving parents who couldn’t get off work. Ever since they ran away from Crux they tried to stay under the radar as much as possible. As long as Isaac was under eighteen, they had to, none of them ever said it but they were all petrified of the day there would be a knock at the door and Isaac would be taken away. 

“This is amazing Isaac.” Gideon said over a mouthful of the spaghetti he had made for dinner.

Isaac shrugged, “It’s nothing I haven’t made before.”

“It’s still amazing.” JM said, wiping her leftover spaghetti sauce with her third slice of garlic bread.

Isaac blushed slightly, “Thanks guys. So Giddy, you ready to meet my teachers?”

Gideon nodded, “So library first to get a copy of your schedule, go to your classes, then end with meeting your counselor who’ll tell me about all the fights you get into?”

Isaac rolled his eyes, “I’m not you Giddy.”

Gideon put a hand to her chest in mock indignation, “Excuse me sir? I never fought, I was an angel!”

JM snorted, “Oh yeah, hey what was the name of that kid whose face you punched in?”

“Taylor.” Gideon scoffed, “He deserved it, he was being a huge dick to Harrow!” Gideon’s eyes dimmed at the mention of her ex. JM and Isaac each patted one of her shoulders consolingly.

“Besides,” Gideon said, “They wouldn’t let me on the wrestling team.”

They laughed and ate in silence for a minute. “Wrestlers don’t sucker punch though.” Isaac said as JM cackled, reaching for her fourth slice of garlic bread.

###

Gideon pulled up to the school, leather jacket zipped up tight against the cool September air, mentally preparing her answers for the questions she knew she was going to be asked. 

She made her way to the library where she stopped in shock at the dictionary definition of Librarian in front of her.

The man behind the desk was tall, like really tall and skinnier than Gideon imagined was healthy. He even wore reading glasses and a tweed jacket, complete with elbow patches.

“Hello!” he said over-enthusiastically, “And which student do you belong to?”

“Isaac Tettares.”

The librarian’s eyes widened with joy, “Then you must be Gideon! I’m Sextus, Sextus Palamedes. Isaac is one of the best students I’ve ever had in my Wednesday program!” 

Gideon shook the man’s hand, biting her lips to keep from blurting out how is you took the first syllables of his names you’d get SexPal. Isaac had told her about the lunch program where students volunteer their time to learn library procedures and help clean up the space.

“Well here’s his schedule, first class is in the math building, go out the left side, up the stairs and it’s the building on your left.” Gideon nodded her thanks and left the library, leaving SexPal to see to the rest of the crowd.

Isaac’s teachers all loved him. Each one gushed over him as she introduced herself and Gideon glowed with pride, and tried to ignore her heart breaking whenever a teacher told her that their parents did a great job raising Isaac. Not for herself, not that she thought her and JM deserved recognition for practically raising Isaac, but for the life that had been denied him, for the life that he deserved.

“Miss Nav?” Isaac’s geography teacher, a very, very attractive woman called out as she was about to leave.

“Yes Miss Deuterous?” Gideon asked, wildly hoping that the woman was about to slip her a cell-phone number. 

“I’m also one of the history teachers here, one of the advanced placement teachers for World History actually. I think Isaac should try to test into my class.”

Gideon couldn’t stop the smile from breaking across her face, “Really?”

Judith smiled back, “Yes, really. Your brother has a lot of potential.”

Gideon shook the woman’s hand, “Thank you very much Miss Deuterous.”

“Call me Judith.” she said.

Gideon nodded, “Thank you Judith.”

###

The night ended with a visit to Isaac’s counselor, a Miss Dulcinea and she was so beautiful Gideon almost swooned. Until she saw the wedding ring on her finger ‘Well damn.’ she thought.

“Miss Nav?” Dulcinea asked. 

“Right here.” Gideon said, letting the blonde woman escort her into her office. It was a comfortable space, with lots of small potted plants and drawings by students on the walls, it seemed designed to keep people calm, which was obviously the point. 

“So you are Isaac’s sister?” the woman asked.

Gideon nodded, “His oldest sister.”

Dulcinea nodded, “And your parents?”

The cover story came to Gideon’s lips with ease, “They work odd hours, our father works nights and our moms schedule changes weekly.”

Dulcinea nodded, “Well if any of the rest of your family is like Isaac and what I’ve seen of you in these short moments I can only imagine what a nice place your home is.”

Gideon glowed with pride, that meant that she was doing something right. Maybe she wasn’t screwing everything up as much as she felt in those lonely moments when doubt began to gnaw at her bones.

Dulcinea told her a little about Isaac, how well he was doing in school and encouraged her to tell their parents to talk to him about extracurricular programs he was interested in.

As Gideon left the school she couldn’t help the wave of relief that washed over her, another test passed. No one found them out. Her family was still together.

###

“So, how’d it go?” JM asked, abandoning her drawing as Gideon locked the door.

Gideon smiled with pride, “They all love him, I got told by everyone what a good student he is.”

“I knew it.” JM grinned, “He’s a special kid.”

“He is.” Gideon nodded, “Speaking of, he in your room?”

JM nodded, “Playing a game I think.”

Gideon nodded as she began to look around the kitchen. “You didn’t eat all the garlic bread, did you?”

JM pushed her glasses up her nose, “Maybe I did, what’re you gonna do about it?”

Gideon’s eyed widened, “You wouldn’t!”

“You finished the Cookies and Cream ice cream last week!” JM protested.

Gideon put her hands to her heart and staggered backwards into the living room before she dramatically flopped onto the couch. “Betrayal! After all these years, betrayed! Poor Gideon Nav, denied a piece of hot, buttery, oh-so delicious garlic bread by the notorious Garlic Bread Fiend!”

JM put a foot on the couch in a victory pose, “Yes, I have defeated you Nav, in revenge for your crimes against Cookies and Cream kind!”

“Uh guys?” Isaac said from the hall, “What’re you doing?”

“I am suffering from my defeat at the hands of the Garlic Bread Fiend.” Gideon said as if it were obvious. “Please noble Tettares,” she said, reaching a hand towards her brother dramatically, “please tell me all hope is not lost.”

Isaac’s eyebrows rose, “If you’re asking for more garlic bread there’s some hidden in with the pots and pans.”

Gideon shot up from the couch in a flash, “Yay!” she exclaimed as she ran to the kitchen.

“You mean you hid it from me?” JM asked as the sound of the microwave droned in the kitchen.

Isaac shrugged, “There are three pieces left, one for each of us. I mean you have problem JM.” he teased.

“He’s wight you do.” Gideon said, her mouth stuffed full of the delicious bread.

JM rolled her eyes at her siblings teasing, “Okay, okay. The Garlic Bread Fiend concedes defeat before the Noble Sir Tettares.”

Isaac gave a mock bow before sitting on the back of the couch.

“So Giddy, how’d it go?”

Gideon smiled, “Terrific kid, they all love you.”

Isaac smiled, “And they believed you?” he asked.

Gideon swallowed and JM didn’t miss the flash of pain in her eyes, “Yep!” she responded brightly, “Your geography teacher told me about those AP classes.”

Isaac rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah, I don’t know about that.”

JM’s brow furrowed, “Why not?”

Isaac shrugged, “Well those classes have a lot of homework and I was hoping to get an after school job, you know, help out around here.” JM sighed as Gideon shook her head, it hadn’t been the first time this topic had come up.

“No, no way you’ve gotta focus on school.” Gideon said.

“But Giddy!” Isaac protested.

Gideon raised a hand, “No buts, I know you’re fourteen now but-”

“Okay hold on.” JM said. The others turned to face her. “You’ve just started your Freshman year Isaac, next year is a ways away, no decisions have to be made tonight.” Isaac nodded as JM continued, “And a job isn’t a bad idea over the summer.” she rushed to finish, cutting off Gideon’s protest. “For now, just enjoy it dude! Get in some clubs, enjoy your free time! I’m getting a raise at the grocery any day now. Thank you so much for the offer, but we’re good okay?”

Isaac nodded, “Okay.”

They turned the tv onto a rerun of an old tv show and sat in silence for a few moments, until- “Hey Isaac, did you know if you take the first syllables of your librarians first and last names you get SexPal?”

Isaac’s eyes widened as JM fell back in her chair, cackling.

“I will never be able to look at him again, thank you Giddy.” he said with his head in his hands.

“Anytime.” she replied in a sing-song voice.

Eventually they turned their attention back to the show, each of them grateful for another obstacle passed.

And for garlic bread.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expect the next chapter soon, it will be in the past again but will be much lighter than the previous two.


	6. The End of Josh and Amy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JM finds a safe place and the girls are finally able to escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ!!!! GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF VIOLENCE IN THIS CHAPTER!!!!!  
> None of it is explicitly shown but it is mentioned. If you want to skip over it go to the last ### and start reading at: "Gideon's world came back in a soft haze.  
> AGES  
> Gideon: 8 years old  
> JM: 6 years old

Thirteen years ago

JM knocked furiously at her neighbors door, her vision rapidly darkening from the bruise around her left eye. It was so bad, so so bad. The door opened and Mr. Brown opened it slowly.

“Yes?” he asked cautiously, then throwing the door open as he took in JM’s battered appearance. “Lou! Come quick!” he yelled, “Sweetie what happened?”

From around the corner, Mr. Brown’s roommate Lou gasped.

“You’ve gotta help Giddy!” JM screamed, “Josh and Amy got so angry, they beat us up kicked us a lot and then Giddy tried to fight back but they got more mad and locked her in the closet and said that they- that they’d keep her there until she starved!” she broke into sobs, falling into the big mans’ chest.

“Jesus Christ.” Henry muttered as he held the crying girl. Behind him he heard Lou on the phone, explaining the situation to a 911 dispatcher. 

“Cops are on their way Henry.” he said, bending down to JM’s level. “Hey sweetie, how ‘bout we get you some ice for that eye okay?”

JM shook her head. “No, I need to stay here till they get Giddy out.” Lou nodded, before quickly grabbing a pack of frozen peas from the kitchen.

“Here, let’s put this over your eye and we’ll wait here till the cops come okay?” JM sniffled and took the peas, wincing as they touched her bruised eye. Both men sat in silence, each one struggling with what they had just seen and heard. How could anyone treat a child like this?

A few minutes later, the sound of sirens roared down the street. JM ran out of Henry’s arms and towards the cops.

“You’ve gotta help Giddy fast!” she screamed at them. One of the EMT’s quickly took her aside as Henry and Lou talked to one of the cops. JM cried softly as the cops went into Josh and Amy’s house, she dared not even breathe as she stared at the door. By now the street was filled with their neighbors, wondering at what was going on.

Josh and Amy were lead out of the house in handcuffs screaming obscenities. There was a shout from inside and the EMT’s ran in. What felt like hours later they wheeled out a gurney, JM could barely make out a flash of red hair.

“Giddy!” she screamed as she ran towards the gurney, clumsily scampering onto it before anyone could stop her. “Is my sister gonna be ok?” she tearfully asked one of the EMT’s.

“We’re gonna take her to the hospital right now.” one of them said as she looked over JM’s own injuries. “And you too, we’ll make sure you’re both ok.” JM nodded, still laying on the bed, she turned to Mr. Brown. “Caitlin’s inside!” she cried out.

“Her stuffed alligator.” the man quickly explained to one of the officers. The man nodded and told one of the cops to go get the toy.

JM laid down and softly stroked Giddy’s hair. Her face was bruised and bloody and there was a scary mask over her face that one of the doctors said would help her breathe.

“Officer,” One of the doctors asked once JM had Caitlin safe in her arms, “We need to get these girls to the hospital, now.”

The officer nodded, “Just a couple questions.” he said. “JM?” he asked.

JM looked up at him with fearful eyes, “Uh-huh?”

“Were there any other kids in the house besides you two?”

JM shook her head. “No, just me and Giddy.”

The officer nodded. “Ok, do you know how that window got broken?”

Again, JM nodded. “They locked me in there after they caught me trying to save Giddy. I broke the window with a big book and then jumped out the window.”

The officer sat there, jaw agape as the EMT, tears in her eyes, pulled JM close to her chest.

“Officer can we go now?” she asked. The officer nodded and in a flash the ambulance was tearing down the street.

The officer in charge walked over to the woman who had gone to retrieve the plush alligator.

“You good?” he asked her as she heaved by the side of the house.

“It was like a war zone.” she said numbly. “There was blood on the walls. They had a padlock on that closet door, a fucking padlock!”

The officer shook his head. “Why don’t you get some rest?”

She shook her head. “No, I wanna be there when those girls give their statements.”

“Get some rest, they’re not well enough to give their statements anyway. We’ll check it out tomorrow. Go get some sleep. I’ll get the statements from the two fruitcakes.” he said jerking a thumb towards Henry and Lou, not seeing the way the young woman flinched at his casual homophobia.

###

“How long was she in that closet sweetie?” the pretty lady doctor asked JM as the ambulance roared down the street.

“Two- two days.” JM cried. “I tried to get her out sooner but there was a big lock on the door and I was too short.”

The doctor hugged JM close. “I think you were very brave.” she said. “Your sister is very lucky, you saved her life.”

JM gave her a teary smile. “Really?” she squeaked. 

The woman nodded, “Yes sweetheart, really.”

“We protect each other.” JM told the woman, “She’s my knight and I’m her Princess Knight.” 

The EMT was at a loss for words. She’d been on calls involving children before, and they never got any easier; but this one was the most horrible thing she had ever seen. “You’re safe now honey.” she whispered, “You’re safe.”

###

JM never left Giddy’s side, a pretty nurse with hair like her Mommy’s got her a cup of water. The doctors told her that Giddy would be okay and that their social worker was coming in the morning. JM barely heard any of it, she stayed in the hospital bed, next to her sister, singing the lullaby their parents would sing to them until she passed out from exhaustion.

###

JM was beside her sisters bed, holding onto her hand tight. She was still sleeping, but the doctors said she’d be okay.

“Jeannemary?” JM turned to see a woman she didn’t recognize. She was tall and wore an ugly suit. “My name is Miss Mason, and I am here to take you back to the Sisters.”

“No way!” JM shouted. “I’m staying with Giddy, and you smell like nasty prunes!” Miss Mason looked taken aback.

“Now see here young lady, I must take you back now.” she made a motion to grab JM’s arm and she screamed shrilly.

The nurse from before burst into the room. “What is it baby?” she asked. JM pointed at Miss Mason.

“She told me I had to leave Giddy and she tried to grab my arm!”

The nurse turned to the woman with barely concealed rage before taking a breath and smiling at JM. “No one’s making you leave Giddy, the doctor said you both have to stay for observation.” The doctor didn’t actually say that, but there was no way the nurse was letting this woman take away this little angel. “Miss, please step into the hall?”

Miss Mason followed the nurse and JM smiled as she heard the nurse yelling at the scary woman. She laid back next to Giddy, and thought about the night. The nurse was good, and Mr. Brown and Mr. Cava were good. So was the doctor and the lady in the ambulance and the lady police officer who saved Caitlin. JM hugged her two only friends close to her, maybe, just maybe she thought, there were more people out there who wouldn’t hurt them.

###

Gideon’s world came back in a soft haze. She looked up at the all white ceiling and thought she was in heaven. She began to cry, thinking that she had left JM all alone with Josh and Amy. She had tried so hard to get out, but the door was too thick and she was so tired and thirsty. She looked over and gasped as she saw a sleeping JM, clutching Caitlin in one arm and holding her hand in the other. Gideon took a sniff and could smell a clean smell that she would know anywhere. She wasn’t dead, she was in a hospital. Her and JM had to go to one when their Mommy and Daddy died and Gideon would never forget the smell. 

“JM?” she croaked. Her sisters eyes shot open and she gasped.

“Giddy! You’re awake!” JM held her and began to cry in happiness. She fumbled for the button to call the nurse, proud of herself when she managed to hit the right button. 

“What happened?” Gideon said over her mask.

JM pursed her lips. “I broke the window of the office with Josh’s big book and ran to Mr. Brown’s house and Mr. Cava called 911. Then the police came and arrested Josh and Amy.”

The doctor came in right then but all Gideon could do was listen to what JM had just told her.

“It’s over?” she said in a voice so small it shattered the doctor’s heart.

JM nodded. “They’re never going to hurt us again.”

Gideon began to cry, it was finally over. She pulled her sister closer to her with her arm that didn’t have scary needles in it and held her close. “You saved me.” she whispered. “You saved me.”

JM smiled at her and pulled her closer. “We protect each other.”

Gideon kissed her sisters temple and looked up at the doctor and nurse who were also crying. “It’s finally over.” she said to them. “We’re safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Suggestions?  
> I need an idea for the next Present Day chapter, soooo please leave me suggestions.  
> Love you all!! <3   
> Remember: Fuck the cops and especially Fuck ICE and the Feds if you're in the U.S. stay safe.

**Author's Note:**

> I will let you all know what to expect from each chapter in the notes, I am still unsure if I will have the past and present chapters alternate or just go past to present in chronological order, let me know your thoughts.  
> And a HUGE thank you to the Locked Tomb discord, ya'll are my favorite people ever, I love you all!! <3
> 
> Also does my title suck? I feel like it sucks


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